The Pursuer! Him, Her or Both?

From the beginning of time men were hunters by nature, though some may argue this is by nurture. By default and tradition men naturally assume the position as the pursuer and begin building in his imagination the physical appearance and characteristics of his ideal woman. Some men are extraverts thus having a natural ability to socialize and meet people of interest while others are introverts and are a bit awkward on the social scene and may require a bit of a push or nudge.

In general, it feels unnatural to a man when he is pursued by a woman.  It’s almost like a hitch-hiker waving you down for a ride in the middle of the night in a sense that you don’t know what to make of it, it is scary, you don’t trust it and you’re wondering to yourself, what is the ulterior motive. In response to these feelings, men have a tendency to back-off and get in a defensive mode because he is wondering; how often does she do this, how many other guys is she actively pursuing and if she’s taking this unconventional approach to marketing her product, there’s a possibility it may be defective.

Remember, people have a tendency to desire what they can’t have which brings us to the question, “what does a women do when she finds a guy attractive and wants to establish a friendship/relationship with him?” the answer is provoke and not pursue. The key here is to provoke interest without actively pursuing the person. Playing center field is probably one of the most strategic approaches because you get the attention required to jump-start the friendship process while not coming across as being snobbish or too pushy.

So what do we mean by playing center field? This is saying hello with a smile without forcing a conversation, making yourself seen without making it obvious that your seeking attention, appear approachable even though this may be difficult to perceive, ask a random question but not a weird one (perhaps ask for directions). Ask for his name, shake hands and smile without being overly flattered in a very businesslike manner, remain composed and keep it moving. Show grace, class and exude confidence.

With this approach, you remain a mystery which is what you want. You want him to be uncertain whether you like him or it’s just your personality. You don’t have to change who you are, it’s about understanding the dynamics and doing what suits you best. Enjoy!

 

 

Photo taken by: Takazart

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